Book Review: Grieving Together: A Couples Journey through Miscarriage

Resources for Miscarriage and Infant loss are few and far between, but Laura and Franco Fanucci have offered something beautiful to fill the void. Their new book Grieving Together is a lovely collection of practical and spiritual advice, along with stories to remind you that you’re not alone.

Grieving Quote 6

Below is a reflection I wrote shortly after we lost our little one at 8 weeks gestation, back in 2017, long before our Blaise was even a dream.

***

When we married, we jump head long into the baby days, welcoming our first shortly before our first wedding anniversary.  We spent the next ten years in the throws of babies and diapers, pregnancy and nursing. Exhausting years. Happy years. And then no babies came for a while.  After six completely uneventful, healthy pregnancies, it was odd not to be in that place anymore.

And then we were pregnant again.  We were thrilled, jumped in feet first, and assumed that it would be like all of the others – relatively smooth and uneventful.  But we were wrong. God took our little one home to Himself and our hearts were broken.

Our earthly, human hearts were so sad to lose this little one.  But with hearts that look towards Heaven we can also see the blessing we were given.  With the gift of our Catholic faith, we firmly believe in the world to come and that our job as parents is to get our little ones there.  This is a daunting task for any parent. In this way, miscarriage is a gift. It’s not one you’d ask for and it’s difficult to accept, but if you look closely, you can see God’s hand at work.

My husband and I have six souls entrusted to us here on earth and are tasked with their formation.  That’s scary. Terrifying, really. But our one sweet soul is safely where it belongs! Success! That’s a terrific joy and deep consolation to our hurting hearts.

God has given us our own personal saint to help us on this journey.  He knew we needed all the help we could get! Our children here with us have a heavenly helper to call on whenever they need it.  I often ask our baby for his heavenly intercession. I know my kids are born naggers and I assume this one is no different! Nag God for you mama, please, dear.

As Catholics, we believe that we are all connected through the Communion of Saints.  The Church Militant works diligently, here in the trenches, while the Church Triumphant carries us through with prayer.  To know that your own flesh and blood is a joy-filled member of that Church Triumphant, basking in the light of His face, cheering you on and praying you through, is truly a gift and consolation.

As is the way with some of  God’s gifts, my earthly, very human heart would never have asked for this particular one.  But I know that His plan is always better than mine. And I know that when the veil is lifted, we will see all of our crosses as the gifts He intended them to be.  We will see that He perfectly knows our needs, even when we do not. And we pray that one day we will all join our sweet Saints together in that beautiful Church Triumphant.

***

I am thrilled to also have a copy of Laura and Franco’s book Grieving Together: A Couples Journey through Miscarriage to give away to one of you! Just leave a comment to enter and I’ll choose a winner on Sunday!

If you’d like to purchase this beautiful little book, it’s currently available from Our Sunday Visitor as well as Amazon.

Disclosure:  As a part of the book launch team, I received a free copy of this book.  All thoughts are my own.  This post contains affiliate links.

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